Some days

Some days are easier than others. Some days are hard. And some days I am 100% faking it. I have adopted Carly’s motto (great movie, btw!)

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I’m a winner! Yay!

But I’m getting tired of being so brokenhearted on the inside. And that’s never going to change.

There are a lot of good, exciting changes happening in my life, and while those are much needed positive emotions, they don’t even equate to a band-aid on what is broken. I miss my mom and I want her back. Period.

Change is hard. Even good change is hard. I know that, and I tell myself that constantly. This quote has been a go-to when I feel like I’m being weak. I don’t like saying that I feel ‘weak’, but I don’t know a better way to describe it. Maybe, “when I feel like I’ve lost the battle and I’m giving in” or maybe just like it says, when I can’t be strong any longer.

I come from a family of strong, independent women and that is part of my identity. When part of your identity is challenged, though…when I don’t feel like I’m being a strong, independent woman, I feel in need of reassurance. And when I need reassurance, I want my mom. But she’s not there anymore, and so it just turns into a vicious cycle.

I’m ok. I’m always going to be ok, because God has always taken care of me and always will. And when He decides I don’t have to be ok anymore, when He knows I’ve lived all that I can, He’ll let me come home where I will get to be back with my mom.

Obviously, I’m not crying on the inside tonight. The inside exploded and leaked through, so tonight I’m being weak or a loser or whatever negative term I want to bestow upon myself for being human. After typing that sentence, I just remembered something my mom used to tell me; “Sarah, you are harder on yourself than anyone else.”

*sigh* You’re right, mom. I need to chill out.

I guess this blog did its job tonight.

 

Proud to be…

When I saw this awesome show of patriotism, I knew the instant he put his pole down that he was military.

As an Army brat, I beg you all, when you hear the National Anthem, stop walking, stop talking, and respect what it all stands for. If he can stop in the middle of his Olympic qualifying, you can stop in the middle of whatever you’re doing. (This especially means when you’re at sporting events. It doesn’t matter who is singing, what matters is what it represents.)

The New Life Begins…

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First, I have moved out of my house and spent the last month or so house-hopping and pet-sitting. Sorry for the absence, but it has all been so crazy! Hopefully only 2 more months until my new home is built!

Today marked another huge change in my life. After 9 years in the same role as a Methodologist, I transferred over to a different division at my company today to become a Research Associate. Instead of focusing on surveys, I now get to focus on substantive areas relating to Criminology.

I’m glad I am staying at my same company, but moving to a new division is a big deal. There are wonderful people I am so sad to be leaving, but I’m excited to do some new work. This was not what I had planned, but things change and sometimes you have to change with them.

I truly believe this is a good thing. I asked God to show me the right path, so I’m going to put my whole heart into walking it.

I really miss my mom right now, though.

10 Rape Prevention tips

This is horrifying. Seriously. Click the link and read it. I’ll wait.

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Are you now as outraged as I am? I’m pretty speechless. I don’t even know what to say, because I just want to cry. I think castration should be a civil penalty.

In light of this BS, I thought it would be a good idea to post a 10 Rape Prevention tips list. If everyone followed these tips, rape would be eradicated. (I did not write this list. This list has been floating around the internet for about a year and gained national attention when it was posted by Sarah Silverman.)

10 rape prevention tips:
1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks.
2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.
3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.
4. If you are in an elevator and a woman gets in, don’t rape her.
5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her.
6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.
7. Remember, people go to the laundry room to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
8. Use the Buddy System! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you at all times.
9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape someone, blow the whistle until someone comes to stop you.
10. Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.